BittEr TruTh..

One thing is 100% for sure

When I die hell is where i'll go

Seeing the amount of tears I shed

Almighty does not love me more

Howmuch ever I hurl & yell

Only my four walls can hear

When everyone proceeds to success

Only I tuk the reverse gear

Already destined with this life

Where joy & peace have no place

Suddenly somewhere out a blue

Another sorrow has come to face

I thought that was to console me

But behind HIS mind it did not seem to be

May be HIS hatred on me has no limits

That's why always in tears HE wants to see

DeliCi0us SiN..

Forget the last night I lived

So horrible I can't beleive

But he will only see my fear

Even he's not with me very near

Out of all the secrets I keep

Only this one is very deep

I have no place to escape

Since this is my own mistake

Wherever I turn is wrong

Yet my faith is still very strong

But why can't I get up at every fall

It makes me lost and feel so small

I fall down with a thud

Wanting to bloom earlier from this bud

Unsatisfied by what I get in turn

Ultimately in this land I get burnt

Can'T waIt aNym0re..

Everything doesnt matter for you

What is gone is gone, that's the past

But you failed to see my pain

Which lies behind a mask

Not easy to get out of my mind

Not easy to push it from my sight

Feeling alone, scared and deep despair

This is the battle I everyday fight

You touched my heart like an innocent boy

But beat me down and raped my joy

Amist this loss I can never cope

Don't know why do I still wait for a hope

Covering up my bruises with many excuses

By facing the world day by day

Trying to ditch my present state

Wanting my emotions to go away

N0b0dy kn0ws..

This pain is lurching in my heart

Deep down it's tearing me apart

Only my keyboard knows i'm crying

Cant look straight since my eyes are lying

There's fire burning inside me

Ashes of sorrows is messed up dirtily

Nobody knows I'm cut & bruised

Even if my words come out fluently

Why do I feel so cold & lonely

It forms a void within obviously

This void comes from the missing parts

Which is broken & shattered wretchedly

Hidden feelings bagan to suffocate 

Yearning to cry out blaming my fate

Dying more in controlling this yearn

Wanting to flush away this terrible state

H0peleSsly dEv0ted..

No stupid love song can describe what i feel

But the words conveyed are not more than real

Day by Day the clouds keep changing

But the feelings inside me goes around like a wheel

Love can be a great thing for me

Higher than the mountain deeper than the sea

But it has its own nature and trait

That can kill a lover silently

I realised one brutal fact

Noone can judge the love i have for thee

The fault is mine if ever I expect

The pool of tears will form under me

When turning back to look at myself

I feel I'm the stupidest girl alive

But than regretting of what I've felt

I rather walk on fire ready to die.

The EndIng sTartS..

I'm exhausted with all I have to say

The beautiful words i employ are rotten away

My boat is sinking more & more everyday

Still waving up for anyone come to my way

I realise as i work more i make it worse

May be i'm the victim to people's curse

But can't leave behind what belongs to me

Becoming pretentious to people i see

Although being confessed by words of love

I beleive on surface as the white dove 

I know it in my heart, O my God I swear

I'm one in a million who suffers out there

I can only be what and who I am

This seems so hard, noone understands

I put my feelings into words that rhyme

To make you see and know, what is mine

Are U derE G0d?

Drowning everyday in this misery

That this egoistic world has only for me

Should i give up & not fight anymore?

For I'm chased by hauting memories as I go

Save me God from this hell on earth

Take me to where I see no dirt

Do not abandone me however I'm in pain

Reform my affair, make me whole again

Take a knife and scratch my heart

Dig further and break it apart

All you can see is the darkness within

There's a devil that lives in my existence

Struggling, fighting to erase my sins

Only blackness is found when ripped my skin

Can't live or die in this numbness

But have to survive to please the rest